Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
