You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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