But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
