its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
