I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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