"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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