Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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