I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
