Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
