he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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