I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
