Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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