Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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