call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just high enough for therapy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
