I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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