I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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