I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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