help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
