I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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