How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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