You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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