True but thats because hes a fetus.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
