So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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