i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
