Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
