i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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