are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
