im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come on in and take your pants off
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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