Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize