why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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