marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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