and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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