I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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