i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
