1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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