Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
