I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
