How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
