I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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