so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
