I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
