Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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