sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
