You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
