my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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