last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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