Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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