We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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