I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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