so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
