and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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