Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
